Thursday, November 26, 2009

2009 April Returning to my roots - part 3


I returned from Europe just 13 days before I got the news about Granny being ill. Mom and Granny went back to Romania to do Granny's annual check up and make sure that she was doing well overall. They left April 11, 2009, just a week or so after my arrival back from UK and Spain. It was a one month tour of a few place I had friends to visit and see some land new to me.

The News wasn't good and Granny was hospitalized. I was back at work only for one week. I was hired to work as there was a shortage of nurses, however, I asked my manager if I could take a week off as a family emergency. Which this was. I got my ticket, against my father's and brother's approval, packed my bag as quickly as I could and was back on a 9 hour flight to Europe, but this time, Romania. This was the first time for me to feel like it was a business flight. For the first time, this was a journey, but not for pleasure. I didn't know what to expect. I teared up at times but tried to keep positive.

On my arrival I was greeted by friends just as I crossed the boarder. The next day I was at the hospital greeting Granny. She looked real good. Her spirit was up and I was glad to see her. Many people have been visiting granny since she's been in the hospital. We were now waiting for her x-ray results. Once we got them, and decided what not to disclose to her, the doctor happily greeting Gran to say that all is well! We thought it was best until we hear more from the oncologist.

Once transferred to another hospital, day in and day out, more tests. We visited Granny every day at 8am, and made it home by sundown, 9pm, exhausted. We talked with mom, tried to figure out what is there we can do. The age has caught up with her, and Romania wasn't providing the proper health care we would have access to in Canada. The decisions we made were based on what was available and not what we knew was possible. It was hard. Each day we looked happy for Granny. We cheered her up, only to go home and let our tears out. We were numb at times.

Everyone from my cousins, friends, and extended family were extremely helpful. They drove us, cooked for us, cheered us on. They gave us space to think, and offered suggestions. We were stuck.

It's not that my grandmother was on her death bed, but we were resolving family issues 2 worlds apart. Canada was home, and Granny was being cared for in Romania. She was too ill to come back to Canada, and the medical bills would drown my parents out if we did bring her home. We were stuck between realities and possibilities.

The Oncologist told us that she has 6 months to live. We said, nothing. How do we keep a grandmother healthy who cannot walk as she used to, because of cracks in places should not happen without a fall? I suggested to mom that we get granny home and out of this second hospital ASAP. The nurses were incompetent and rude, loud and useless. The documentations were inaccurate and granny was getting tests repeated because proper documentations were lacking. The Onco doc told us to sit down and shut up. He gave us his diagnosis and told us what is there to cry about. The circumstances were revolting. Leaving Granny here was not only scary for us, but will not give her a chance to thrive. Getting her home has become our only goal at this point.

side note: The doctors told us that in Romania after age 80, doctors refuse to operate for any circumstance. That gave me another encouragement to get Granny out of there.

Useful or not, Granny will be treated unfairly, and possible be abused for being an aged woman in a hospital. Giving her any kind of onco treatment would make her weak, hopless, and put her in a down ward spiral. I said to mom, let's her Granny out and then we will see what our next steps be.

Exactly 9 days after my arrival to Romania, just as the sun was setting, Granny was carried up by 2 ambulance workers in a chair, as she wasn't able to walk 2 flights of stairs. She used a walker to her chair and sat down. Mom and I was nervous all day, as she was being delayed over and over this day. We just wanted her home and out of that hostile environment.

Everything was further from finished. We may have got Granny home but now we had to figure out was to have her be taken care of in her own home. Mom had a long list of things to do before she made it home again. However, my 9 days were up and I had to get back to work. They seriously needed me.

I left mom and told her to stay strong. Something will work out. For the coming 4 months, my mother worked, managed Granny, and tried to figure out how this will all be taken care of. I have cousins, Granny's son, who lives in a town 2 hours from Granny. Mom was able to find a place there. Move my Granny with all her things into an apartment across from my Uncle and Aunt. Figure out her pension and disability money offered by the government. and so on....

(January 26, 2012)As I am writing this post, Granny is healthy and happy 3 years after our scare. The full diagnosis no one truly knows, since we were told horrible things, and more not so good things, however Granny defies gravity and lives on through it all. She also doesn't know what's truly going on but she's suspecting that she's aging and her health is fading. But it's all happening gracefully with her fill dignity in tact, in the comfort of her home. She cooks, and cleans, and watches TV. She has visitors every week from my Uncle and Aunt. She doesn't leave her home but has a balcony. She has a beautiful view, and I was happy to see her well.

When I think back to those 9 days of my life, I still feel that those were my lowest. I had many people disagree with my actions. I was called selfish, and dealing with a break up. Things were seemingly slipping away from me. But I went back to work, and I worked at getting better. It has made me stronger and kinder. Realizing that family and my profession doesn't always mix. I might know things about the body, but each person chooses to deal with a problem much differently. Using our won means to live life to our own fullest.



Lessons of life never to be forgotten.

R :-)


2009 March UK and Barcelona

Three weeks; Six fantastic places; Meeting loads of great people on the way! Here are my travels in order:

1. Edinburgh, Scotland







































2. Aberdeen, Scotland


































3. Manchester (just for you Marcus)






































4. Cardiff, Whales




























































































5. London, England












































































6. Barcelona, Spain










































































































































World's greatest tour guide :-)




















Thanks for joining me !!!
xoxo
R :-)