Sharing my chocolate with Debbie and Michael

Sharing My Chocolate

This is a story about the life lessons I have learned through sharing my chocolate. You might have experienced some of these or none of these next few examples, however, I hope that you will all find it as eye opening as I have.

Ever since I had the pleasure to live and travel overseas I have had the obsession of sharing, making, learning, and consuming food with others. Food becomes a catalyst to my social activities and therefore it has become a big part of my life. My roommate in Brisbane would agree that there isn’t anything quite as satisfying in our daily living then the sheer management of what we consume. And I agree with this woman 100% for I too love eating. Thao also taught me that consuming food in a social setting (more than one person) also adds to your health and assist with digestion. Basically, you enjoy food more when consumed over a conversation.

Whether we are talking about a big meal or just some snacks which I carry with me (as I have a tendency to eat quite frequently throughout the day) I enjoy sharing. I almost have people consume things with me just so it makes my own consumption more pleasure-full. I do not expect these gestures to be reciprocated by others however, it is never rejected when I do get offered food (reasons being stated earlier on). I guess sharing respect would be something similar to sharing food. It makes people feel good whether they are receiving or providing it.

So this is how the story goes. I was applying for a job which I qualify for with flying colours. I have been told by each interviewer over the past 2 weeks that I am their #1 choice. Only catch: I have to start work...yesterday. I am committed to my internship till the end of November (I will just leave out the extra travels I have planned with Dan, as this would be done in November). Basically, I am committed to my current location till the end of November. This organization needs someone urgently. Even though I fit their mold, I am not on the list for recruitment. Bummer, no more like devastated!

I want this job opportunity to develop my career further. It is the most fluid/proper/challenging/fun next step for me and I am ready to do everything in my power to be an excellent team player. But my personal dilemma lies within my values: never leave before you have completed a job within the requirements and responsibilities which I have agreed to in the beginning. People are relying on my work in my current setting and I too do not have the heart to leave in a split decision. I have committed to this work and I am committed to develop and submit a quality report at the end of it all. This is the moral dilemma I’m facing today. I have been put on the ‘as per needed’ list and I am sad/disappointed/angry/stomping-in-a-puddle over my circumstance. (I’m not even going to go into the circumstances I had to complete both interviews because it would take a whole other blog to explain it all, but just know that I was at a cafe during my second interview using a random persons headphones while communicating, first on skype and then on my cell phone)

I left the cafe defeated, lost, and very low. I apologized to the waiters who kept giving me free internet, and the girl who lent me her headphones, when asked how my interview went, I told her it went well to avoid the explanation. I just wanted to get home and curl up in bed, sleep, and wait for another day to come so I can forget this ever happened. I walked slowly, very slowly even though it was late, and not very safe to be out in my suburb at these hours. But I just didn’t care about anything or anyone around me at this time. On my way home I did stroll into the pharmacy and purchased a Cadbury chocolate bar. Fruit and nuts was my selection for the walk. I was not very upset at this point more just disappointment/confused what I should do/and how can this happen to me. Me, who always gets what I aim for. How was I to make sense of missing out on a once in a life-time opportunity because there was a 2 month overlap in my work. How is this fair? What should I do now ???

Not very long after I purchased my chocolate, I walked by (at the time I thought 2 younger boys) Michael and Debbie. Sitting in front of a store, where they always make their bed. I see them each night sleeping on my street near my house. As I am walking by, Michale asks quietly if I would share my chocolate. “Why of course, here you go... (and I gave some to his mother, Debbie as well sitting next to him, wrapped up in blankest). These two, and many other people (varying in age) find shelter on the street leading to my home as it’s protected from the wind. This was my first time I heard this boy stopping me as most days I walk or run by really fast so I don’t have to be bothered. But today I was walking slowly, so I heard the boy ask me for some chocolate.

I reached forward to give it to them so they didn’t have to leave their warm blankets, and as I leaned in Michael asked me what is wrong. I swallowed at first cause nothing came out of my mouth. When I gave chocolate to his mother I just said, “Oh it was one of those days, you know”, and I gave him and awkward smile. He then says something which made my heart sink: “Lady, don’t worry, tomorrow is going to be another day. It’s going to be ok”. I swallowed much harder this time. I then turned to walk away before he can see me cry. I was overwhelmed by this lovely boy supporting me. I am on my way to a warm home, with food in my fridge, a job which is flexible, family and friends who love me, and this boy on the street, sleeping in filthy blankets near a store window tells me to appreciate life and what tomorrow has to bring. Renata, what kind of a nurse have become of you? I should be the strong one, I should be providing them with just policies and social support groups so they would not have to be sleeping on the streets. How is this picture even possible?

I was walking away in a brisk manner so I don’t have to show him my upset face, but I pulled myself together and turned around to respect his words. I listened and bowed my head as a thank you, and told him with my trembling voice, “You take good care now”. That is all I had the strength for. I turned away and walked to get some air. I wanted to hug him, bring him food, and clothes, and shelter but I just didn’t have the means to get everything for them. I shook my head for the rest of the walk home. I snapped myself out of the sorrow. I kept telling myself, “How could I be so ungrateful? I have everything and there are millions on the streets of Cape Town wanting just one little break in life”.

But then I also started questioning when is my personal development needs to be appreciated for what it’s worth. Aren’t my goals to achieve my next career milestone will also benefit those who are less fortunate? Was this career opportunity the way for me to help those who do not have their voices heard? I feel like now I have to fight harder in order to accomplish what I am set out to work towards. I am astounded by this boy. I have to thank him for my quick recovery and for lifting me up when he is the one who hungers for opportunity. I have not decided on how I will thank him but I will keep my eyes open so I can share a conversation next time I walk by him. I would like him to know how much he’s worth in my books.

I have shared chocolate with many people before but this has to be my most humble story in my 26 years. Oh, and sharing chocolate with Marcus, my brother. He also taught me life lessons which I will tell you in another blog. I wanted to use our childhood chocolate story at his wedding but I cried it away. Maybe if I write it down in a blog he will see what I was trying to share with the wedding party.

Sometimes it is good to be reminded of life's bacis lessons.

R :-)

PS: The reason I know Michael and Debbie is because on my way home from yoga I walked by them again and I stopped to ask for their names. I thanked Michael for his kind words the other day and let him tell me their story. I then suggested to meet agian tomorrow as I will bring them warm clothes and a jacket hopefully. But I will also give them some money to stay at the shelter. Michael tells me that the shelter costs 15R/ night (2$) and they will be getting dinner there as well.

I will call upon some friends I have in Cape Town and see if anyone is looking to hire a fit and kind boy. He is taking care of his mother like a true gentleman and that deserves an opportunity to make a better life for himself.

Wish me luck

R :-)